More Fun With Poetics

I just noticed tonight after my Poetry class that someone had commented on my previous post suggesting an alternate line reading for my months poem.

I decided to respond, and my response became more and more in-depth (I just had me poetics class, remember).  Because of this (and out low post out put) I decided to post my reply on the main page.

Before I do though, let me just say two things.

1) I LOVE the suggestion.  I wish I could use it.

2) I could go into much more detail (it's amazing the things you learn, but don't realize you're learning), but have chosen to keep it as brief and simple as possible (partly because I want to go to bed!)

So...here it is -

"That's a great thought Anonymous, but unfortunately that word order would change up the rhythm (which I am defining as the sequence of accented and unaccented syllables) a little bit.

Currently the poem reads:

THIR-ty/DAYS-are/IN-sep/TEM-ber
JUNE-and/A-pril/AND-no/VEM-ber
TWEN-ty/EIGHT-in/FEB-ru/AR-y
BUT-be/CARE-ful/IT-can/VAR-y (are these one syllable or two??)
ALL-the/REST-have/THIR-ty/ONE
WHO-KNEW/that-MONTHS/could-BE/so-FUN

As you can see, it gets kinda awkward after the second line.

Your suggested line would read like this:

the-REST/all-NUM/ber-THIR/ty-ONE

Which is a much nicer iambic (unaccented syllable followed by an accented one) line but, unfortunately would become the ONLY regular iambic line in the entire poem making the poem feel that much more awkward. The last line is ALMOST a regular iambic, and would probably become one were we to substitute your line for mine, but the spondaic (double accented) foot leading the line works to transition the poem into the regular iambic meter.

If you notice, the majority of the lines are trochaic (the opposite of an iamb - accented then unaccented) which means the lines all start with an accented syllable and end with an unaccented syllable. Part of the problem created by the new line is that you would have an enjambed (spread out over two lines) anapest (double unaccented syllables). To better explain what I mean, I'll write it out as a single line:

BUT-be/CARE-ful/IT-can/VAR-y//the-REST/all-NUM/ber-THIR/ty-ONE

Notice how there is a subtle "hitch in your gitty-up" as you read that line?

That being said, I LOVE the line and would totally use it if I could figure out a way to write the entire poem as regular iambs, but regrettably the second month of the year has too many syllables and is almost as difficult to rhyme as 'orange' to be able to accomplish that task with any ease."

I didn't realize that I had learnt all this stuff so far this semester.

Thank you, Anonymous, for helping me to see that.